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holy water

last night i dreamt of daniel high school boyfriend number 3 buzz cut he always smelled like roaches and old spice crinkled small bills pressed flat the clickshutripopen of ziploc freezer bags he sat on the bed asked me to oblige him i said, “i’d rather not” he whined “i thought you loved me” i wonder: what did he expect? this skin will never welcome him like safety these bones still remember the shame of not being|believed   and for the first time he dropped old boys club allegiances felt the scrape of broken trust across his skin from this i have become convinced that squirting is kin to the gushing tears of sacral trauma|centuries old that hands inside cunts can...

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learning to believe

this piece appears in the e-zine 'femmes surviving toxic masculinity". the project is pay-what-you-can starting at zero dollars. you can download it here.-- i'm undoing you from my skin - rupi kaur it’s hard to admit this, but the truth is: i can sometimes struggle to believe survivors.i walk in marches. i support people recovering from sexual assault and abuse. i argue with loved ones and family members when they defend rapists like jian giomeshi. i’ve changed my facebook profile photo to a meme that says "we believe you".but the truth is sometimes, when it counts, i struggle to believe.it’s a contradiction, isn’t it? to have curated this zine and admit that sometimes, i struggle to believe. it’s hard to...

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herbal tea drive for BIPOC femme survivors

recently the witch cabinet launched an e-zine called "we believe you - femmes surviving toxic masculinity". the zine's call for submissions offered herbal gifts to BIPOC folks who submitted. some of these gifts are coming from the remaining stock of the witch cabinet's apothecary. the remainder of the herbal gifts are coming from you: magical, powerful, witchy femme community. the idea is that you will send the witch cabinet dried herbs and we will put all the herbs together into one blend, which will be sent to the contributors. the requests from BIPOC contributors in terms of herbal support have included support for: being bravehealing broken heartssetting clear boundarieseasing paingroundingsettling anxietynurturingproviding strength there has been a specific request for herbs...

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call-out culture and being "too much"

“unapologetic. no small in her silence. no quiet in her thunder. she swallows oceans when she speaks, and hugs you like it ain’t nothing. like she didn’t just turn your body into molten liquid. like fruit flies aren’t flying around where your head used to be.” - shirin cameron pretty girls keep their mouths shut in kindergarten i was called “bossy”. at my elementary school graduation I won the leadership award. as I crossed the stage to give my speech, papers shaking in my tiny prepubescent hands, the boys whispered behind me, “the only reason she won is that she was sleeping with mr. walters”. in high school i was voted “talks the most” two years in a row and...

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what i wish i could have told you, as you touched me as i slept.

  this is a letter i wrote, and sent, to someone who kissed and touched my body in a way that made me feel unsafe. a beautiful gender queer who i wanted to kiss for months and months. a person who made a mistake, similar to mistakes i think we've all made. at first it was a personal letter, then it turned into an open letter, then it turned into a poem. i want to make clear, this is not a call-out. it's not meant to demonize anyone, because then it would make demons of all of us. i want to hold us more capable than that. i hope it will let us see the ways we've been taught to...

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